It's July already!

I can't believe it's July already. I was supposed to have already had my left shoulder replaced by now. HA! Got a call from the doctor's nurse saying I was being rescheduled for July 28th. When I asked why, I was told that his trip had been extended. Then we were called Tuesday and told that it was being postponed until August 25th. Why? again I asked and was told he had been called away suddenly on a medical conference. Well, as anyone in academia or the professional world knows, conferences are scheduled months and months in advance so the likelihood of it being a conference is slim to none.



I really don't know why I keep on getting pushed back but for whatever reason there it is and there is not a in in the world that I myself can do about it. My primary care's pat answer was"Idon't know anything about the orthopaedic department, blah, blah, blah." I'm just hoping he isn't in rehab and I get him his first week back not though. I mean I'm happy for people to get recovery but I'm sorry, I'm a complex case and I need a doctor on his "A" game the day my arm gets sawed in half and and new socket joint gets squeezed in there. I'm sure someone can understand. Anyone who is interested in seeing infor on what they are eonf



Take care and talk to you soon.
Mary Lynn

Snap, Crackle, Pop

It's been a long time since I've posted and I will try to update you in the shortest way possible. First, my arthritis conditions that I have and I have 3 - degenerative disk http://www.back.com/causes-mechanical-degenerative.html, Chronic gouty arthritis http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000424.htm, and osteoarthritis in multiple joints including end stage in my knees are much worse. A bone scan reveiled my skeleton is pretty bent up and I have shrunk too.

What does this mean? It means taking loads of medications just to keep all of these issues at bay and dealing with daily chronic pain that is off the scale with as low a dose of pain medication as I can get by with in order to keep myself from becoming a pain medication junkie at 49. In September of 2004, my doctor asked me to switched from my 4000 mg of extra strength Tylenol a day (which was not handling the pain either but was tweeking my liver) to a lower level of Tylenol and Norco 10mg. I take approximately the same dosage of Norco that he prescribed for me back then, however he is getting very nervous in being responsible for my pain medication and has referred me, AGAIN, to Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago (RIC), for pain medication management and maintainence. I hope they will be able to help me. I still do the relaxation and most of the exercises that I was taught there. I can't do some of them any longer.

I was having a great time working at Sears socially speaking, however my body was hating it. My rhematologist did not want me to gain more than 3 pounds in one day (water retention due to only having one kidney). There were many times after working 4 or 5 days in a row where I had gained 8 or 9 lbs. I could not breath or walk because of all of the water in my skin around my diaphram and joints. If I would have 2 or 3 days off, all of the weight would be gone until I went back to work again. In addition to the weight, the pain became unbearable on those days until I could barely see. So after having worked there a bit over a year, I had to turn in my resignation. Since then, the swelling been there but not because of work but because of another issue.

I take a very harsh NSAID that my rheumatologist had to put me on in order to get my last gout attack under control. She tried to remove it once and I immediately had a gout breakout. So back on it I went. Now I am facing two surgical procedures. I must be off of this medication for the surgery and then for the duration of my life. When we took away one of the three pills, I immediately started getting gout symptoms and I have had swelling in all of my joints, I have limited to poor mobility in my neck and head, shoulders, hands, wrists, ankles, toes, knees, and hips. This makes walking, standing, and balance very difficult if not impossible. I continually fall and my joints give way all of the time making getting around very hard even with my walker because I have carpal tunnel in my wrists and pain in my shoulders which support me on the walker.

Now my poor kidney is not a happy camper. Having gouty crystals in the uric acid just is setting my kidney up for stones. My kidney levels are not good enough for them to even do tests on me with contrast. Even with me getting off of the medication, my kidney is still not happy.

Mentally I was handling this all fairly well until Keith lost his job and was out of work for 6 weeks. He did eventually find a job but the company he works for is one where you must work 2 weeks and then get your first pay check 2 weeks later. So in other words, no unemployment and no paycheck either for 4 weeks. We have a 700.00 plus cobra payment per month plus any other medication and doctor copays to pay. If we do not pay that, our only insurance is lost forever. It will be lost forever in October anyway. That is when the 18 months is over. Keith has been sending out a zillion resumes and has had up to 4 interview in a week. How do I know this? Because in my panic and depression, I have been on one search engine looking for jobs, while he has been on another.

Up until he lost his job, I was working, Keith was working and things were looking up for us for a change. Then my body "JUST SAID NO" and I had to quit. And Keith said don't worry, they have promised us work here until July. And then they came in and told him one day, sorry, budget cuts, and you have to be out at the end of this month. Then they came in two days later and said go home Tuesday. This is the 3rd time in 4 years Keith has been downsized or budgeted or merged out of a company - and big companys too. It is hard to budget long-term when you do not have a long-term income and have to start at ground zero every little whip stitch by selling all the stock you have bought for retirement or turning in 401Ks to pay bills during each layoffs.

So I am trying to do my relaxation exercises, tell myself I have done everything possible to help keep my little family together while basically being bedridden and in constant, unbelievable pain. Until you have had to deal with this for over 10 years like I have, you can't imagine how many days it is very difficult to, just once more, choose to open your eyes and face another day.

I have received unbelievable support from my visiting teacher at my church. She is always a loving ray of sunshine every time she comes to see me and it is such a blessing to me. Other than that, I don't really hear from anyone else. I realize everyone is busy and right now, I am just too sick body and soul to call anyone. I read other people's blogs and try to keep up when I can and post when I can, however I can only sit for so long.

I figure I will just put out our reality into the universe and see what comes of it.

SHE PASSED THE BAR EXAM

For anyone who has been reading, sorry it's been so long since I have posted. But the huge news is . . . . wait for it . . . . Kelly passed the bar exam. She found out on November 4th. She called me and I proceeded to scream and squeal in her ear on the phone for a while which she endured.

The other exciting thing is Keith and I actually went to Disney World for our 30th Wedding Anniversary. We had a package deal that included air, hotel and meals and had a great time. We had a picture taken and there is now a tile with our "mugs" on it plastered somewhere on the walls at Epcot. We also had a caricature portrait done together (not unlike a wedding photo) with Keith as a fisherman and me as the mermaid he has just reeled in on his hook. It looks very much like both of us and we had fun sitting for the young artist.

I also tried a tatoo on for size on my left shoulder to see how I liked it (have been considering it for a while). I liked it a lot so I guess now my job is to find a decent ink artist.

I shot some film that CASA is using portions of for a fund raising video - it explains CASA's missions and talks about some volunteer experiences in general terms. I am also working about 3 days a week which my body seems to be able to recover from so far.

We to the doctors and got all flu shotted up today - you can't believe how many people stand across from me at work and just cough or sneeze right on me like I'm invisible.

Had an extremely odd conversation with my mother the other night. The jist being some Christmas gifts that I made her over the year were not fitting into her new lifestyle and so she asked me if I wanted them back. Talk about a slap in the face. I declined and said she could do with them as she pleased. There were some other things talked about too but basically it was all very negative for me and really puts me at the place where I need to think about how healthy it is to have contact if my feelings are not acknowledged or are relegated to a level of non import. I have plenty on my plate and don't need that too. So distance makes the heart grow fonder in this case.

Next week we leave for the Szabo's to spend Thanksgiving and I get to meet Jason of "boydome" fame. I hope he survives the trip but according to what I've been hearing from Kelly, I think he's up to it. I haven't been to Laurel's since the twins were babies so it's about time.

That's the update. Take care and be thankful for where you are!

What Does Love Mean

My Mother sent me an email with the loveliest stuff in it so I'm just gonna post it here and let it do it's thing.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy -age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy see's Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

And the finally -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"


Please help me to remember the meaning of love! :)

Katrina Hurricane Recovery? - Not!

I am utterly appalled by the slothful response to the disaster in our country's deep south region. Areas have been completely destroyed similarly to the way they were when Hurricane Andrew mowed through Florida. However, Andrew did not leave broken levees and continually rising water which has exacerbated the disaster even until this time.

I read a report that a woman sits dead in her wheelchair in a median and another man sits in a chaise lounge chair dead with a blanket over his face. Looting is taking place but the police are allowing it "for essential items only" and are arresting people who loot for nonessential items.

A Canadian woman visiting New Orleans and unfortunate enough to be stuck in the Superdome, asked a police officer for help. She was told to "Go to hell, it's every man for himself." So if this is what happens to "civilized man" when a natural disater of this magnitude strikes, what would happen if something truly catastrophic were to happen in our country?

I mean FEMA is nowhere to be seen. Each discrete "helping organization" (e.g., Salvation Army, Catholic Charities, Red Cross) are doing their own individual dances which, of course, will never get the job done. With big mother messes, you need big mother organization and coordination - none of which is happening now.

Why you ask? Because we have NO NATIONAL PLAN for disaster. Being a "state to state" delegated government, the feds say, "Okay, if there is a disaster, you states must provide blah, blah, and blah for your citizens." But of course no funds from the feds for blah, blah, and blah are ever forthcoming and so the PLAN is never put into place.

So a disaster occurs and the Feds say, "We told those states to have a PLAN, you naughty states." And the states say, "You never gave us any of the funding you promised us to put any PLAN together for disaster relief so we could have a comprehensive PLAN." So here we go round the mulberry bush while people suffer, lose everything they having including sometimes their lives.

I feel guilty about worrying about the price of gas in all of this, however, you know that the Oil Companys will jump on the chance to gouge the rest of the country while it has the chance. Hey Dubya, how about freezing the price of oil for a few months until this all get cleaned up as a sign of "good faith"?

I will continue to pray and I would ask my friends, family and readers to exhort whatever powers they hold dear in their lives on behalf of all the suffering people in our country today.

Fun With Tests

I don't know about you, but I just love taking little quizzes or doing weird little what is your "fill in the blank"! So in keep with that theme I am adding a lovely little thingy here for you to do. What Rejected Crayon are you? As you can see, I was a beautiful Melanoma Tan. Click below and find out what color you are.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Anyway, to give you a quick update, Kelly survived the Bar Exam and then took a well-deserved two week vacation to California to visit Santa Cruz, Monterey, and San Francisco. She got to see Redwoods, a wax museum and best of all her friends.

Keith is starting his MBA program the first week in September and is very excited. He is working very hard too at Zurich financial as a network administrator. Work for me is the usual. I go in and then I work real hard and sweat and then I come home.

Hope you all are doing well!

One more quiz:

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Noelani Kamea

What's your Hawaiian Name?

My Kid Is Taking The Bar!

There she sits along with gobs of other people. I know for a fact she has earplugs in her ears to block out extraneous noise that might distract her. Last night she only got 2 hours of sleep yet I know her brain is chock full of law that will come spewing out onto the paper when the time is right. She thinks the sleep issue is because of nervousness but I know it is similar to a thoroughbred straining at the starting gate. She has never been patient in this regard and "Just wants to get going!"

My daughter is taking the Massachusetts Bar Exam today and tomorrow. It is long hours of testing today and long hours tomorrow. A ton of people in many states have stretched out their hands in friendship and love and are praying for her, sending good vibes, and lots of love and luck. So in addition to all of the personal preparation she has done on her own, she has all of that in her corner!

I could not be prouder of her. She has done all of this on her own - working her way through undergrad, grad school, and law school - sometimes holding down two jobs and taking as many as 6 classes simultanaeously. She exercises regularly, is committed to her church callings, and is a very good friend. What a cool person, huh?